The First to Break
by PhoenixTears80
Summary: This is a conversation I really wanted to see Rachel have with Finn.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so this is my first ever "Glee" fanfic, and it's also my first songfic. I proofed this myself, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

I don't own the show or the characters (if I did, I would be a very wealthy woman). I also don't own the song "I Don't Know You Anymore", by Savage Garden. The title comes from the song.

This is a conversation that I really would have loved to have seen take place between Finn and Rachel.

Now, on with the story!

The First to Break

_I would like to visit you for a while _

_Get away and out of this city _

_Maybe I shouldn't have called but _

_Someone had to be the first to break _

Finn sat in class, staring at the clock on the wall. Time seemed to have slowed down. It was always hard coming back to school after a holiday break, and this year was no exception. After what seemed like forever, the bell rang in the hallway, signaling the end of class. Finn grabbed his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder as he exited the room.

Nodding to some of the other members of the football team in the hall, Finn made his way toward his locker. As he got closer, he saw the pink square stuck to the outside. He slowed down, looking around him as he approached. Reaching a hand out, he grabbed the Post-It. It was a note.

_Please meet me in the choir room._

_- Rachel_

Finn rolled his eyes. He didn't know if he wanted to talk to her, but then he thought about the smile they shared as they decorated a Christmas tree together with the rest of the Glee Club. He couldn't just ignore her.

"Thank you for coming," Rachel said as soon as she saw Finn in the doorway.

"What's up?" Finn asked, brushing past her and sinking into a chair in the first row.

"I needed to talk to you about something," Rachel began.

"Is this a Glee Club something?" he asked, "Or a you and me something? Because if it's about us, I don't want to hear it."

Rachel stared at him, and he shut his mouth. "It's a you and me something, but you don't have to worry – I'm not going to try and get back together with you. It's just something I need to tell you, and I need you to hear me out. After that, you're free to hang out with your football buddies and cheerleaders and ignore me all you want for the next year and a half. Ok?"

"I'm not gonna ignore –" he began, but Rachel cut him off.

"Please. I need to know if you're going to listen to what I have to say or if I should just save my breath."

Finn looked her in the eye. What he saw there indicated to him that he should listen. "Ok," he said.

"Thank you." Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened her eyes, looked at him, and began to speak.

"It's a brand new year, and I know I need to move on, but I also know that I can't move on until I tell you what I need to tell you. I need to tell you why what you did hurt me so much because the fact that you didn't understand made it hurt even more."

Finn immediately wanted to interrupt but decided to hold his tongue and let Rachel continue.

"You had sex with Santana. First of all, she has done whatever she could to make my life hell the whole time we've been in school together. Remember during the whole Britney Spears debacle, Santana said to me that I looked like one of the bait girls on _To Catch a Predator_? You laughed, and when I said you could have defended me, you said 'Maybe Santana has a point.' Do you know how much that hurt me?"

Finn's eyes went to his hands lying in his lap. Rachel started pacing, gesturing with her hands as she spoke.

"Second, I know we weren't together, but _you_ were the one who broke up with me first, and you had sex with her when you were _trying_ to get back together with me. And to do it because she's _hot_ and she was _willing_? I had more respect for you before I knew you were the type to sleep with someone for reasons like that. Like I said, if it had been Quinn, I would have understood."

Rachel stopped in front of Finn and looked at him. He could almost feel her eyes burning a hole into the top of his head.

"Third, you lied about doing it with her. If you didn't think, deep down, that there was anything wrong with it, you wouldn't have lied. "

Finn looked up quickly but dropped his eyes again. Rachel went on, still staring at him.

"Fourth, I had to find out about it in front of my _friends_, which was humiliating enough, but then I had to find out that they already knew. But I guess they're not really my friends, are they? They don't like me, they just tolerate me because of my talent."

Rachel's voice cracked slightly on her last statement. Finn met her eyes again, his jaw dropping open. It looked like she was ready to cry.

"Isn't that what Santana said? That nobody actually likes me?"

Finn wouldn't have known what to say even if Rachel gave him the chance, but she plowed on, wanting to finish what she had to say.

"Last, I know there's no excuse for what I did with Puck, but I just made out with him. I didn't do it with him, and I came clean with you. You would never have told me what you did with Santana if she hadn't told me first, would you?"

Finn just stared at her, not wanting to admit that if he could have kept the truth from her forever, he would have.

Finally, Rachel looked away from him. "That was what I needed to say to you. Like I said, I would never be able to move on without getting that off my chest." She crossed over to the piano and picked up her bag, which was lying on top. She looked back one more time. "I won't bother you again, and you won't need to worry about me talking to you about anything other than official Glee Club business." With that, Rachel left.

Finn sat in the choir room, staring into space, thinking…

_We can go sit on your back porch _

_Relax _

_Talk about anything _

_It don't matter _

_I'll be courageous if you can pretend _

_That you've forgiven me _

_'Cause I don't know you anymore _

_I don't recognise this place _

_The picture frames have changed _

_And so has your name _

_We don't talk much anymore _

_We keep running from the pain _

_But what I wouldn't give to see your face again _

The End

That's it! Reviews are appreciated, including criticism, as long as it's constructive.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you SO much to those who reviewed my first chapter! Your words were so encouraging that I decided to write a follow-up chapter. I know it's been a couple of months, but I wanted to see where things were going in the show before writing more.

As before, I don't own the show or the characters (sigh). I also don't own the song "Crash and Burn", by Savage Garden, which helped inspire this chapter. And like last time, all mistakes are mine.

This is strictly speculation. I read the spoilers, but other than what gets published on the internet, I have zero knowledge of what is going to happen in the show.

Now, on with the story!

* * *

The Next Chapter

_Let me be the one you call _

_If you jump I'll break your fall _

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night _

_If you need to fall apart _

_I can mend a broken heart _

_If you need to crash then crash and burn _

_You're not alone_

* * *

Finn was walking down the hall towards his locker, ready to gather his things to go home. It was the week after Regionals, and he was still basking in the glee club's success.

As he started pulling books from his locker and putting them in his bag, the glow he felt inside dimmed slightly. He was facing a dilemma, one that he had been thinking about ever since the competition.

An image of Rachel rose up in his mind.

She had gone and made out with Puck, and that had hurt him, true. But she _had _come clean about it, and it wasn't like he was completely blameless in the situation. When he thought about how their relationship had been going before Santana had to go and open her big mouth, he knew it had been good.

Finn liked himself better when he was with Rachel. They called each other out on all their crap, and it was as if being with her made him a better person. Although, he had to admit, maybe he hadn't been the best boyfriend in the world. But she had been amazing to him. Even back when he thought he'd gotten Quinn pregnant and was stuck in a massive freak-out over how to support Quinn and the baby, Rachel had helped him get a job. And when they were preparing to do 'Rocky Horror', and he'd been worrying about his body, she reassured him and made him feel good.

Finn and Rachel had both messed things up, there was no denying it, but he knew she still loved him. If she hadn't come right out and said it during the whole kissing booth fiasco, he would have known it at Regionals. She had asked him to listen to her song carefully, and he had. Until that moment when she looked offstage at him while singing, he hadn't realized the depth of her feelings for him, but now he understood, and if he was honest with himself, he knew that he still had feelings for her.

And then there was Quinn.

When he was with her before, his priorities had been different. He remembered the shame of being slushied in the hall and how much he wanted to get his popularity back. Even now, Quinn's sole focus was being elected prom queen. Did being around her make him shallow by association? Or was he really just that guy?

She also hadn't exactly been supportive when he was tearing his hair out over impending fatherhood. She had harped on him about money and being faithful, when she already knew that the baby wasn't his and that she'd taken faithful and thrown it out the window long ago.

But that spark was still there! They had kissed, and Finn had felt the fireworks!

Still, in spite of the fireworks, when he took a moment to really think about how he felt with her, he wasn't exactly happy. He actually couldn't figure out what his feelings for her _were_. But he did wonder if she would still want to be with him if he wasn't the hero of the football team or if being with him couldn't make her prom queen, which she seemed to want so badly.

He could find out, though.

As he headed down the hallway for the exit, Finn saw a poster on the wall:

_The Prom Committee is now accepting nominations for Prom Court._

_Please submit nominations in the Prom Committee mailbox in the main office._

There were forms pinned to the wall underneath the poster. Glancing around quickly to make sure nobody was paying attention, Finn grabbed a form and headed back towards the boys' locker room, knowing it should be empty at this time.

Finn nodded to Coach Bieste in her office on his way in and plopped himself down on the bench in front of his locker. He took a book and pen out of his backpack and balanced them on his lap, setting the nomination form on top of the book.

Football season was long since over, so being the star quarterback didn't matter, but if Finn could get someone other than Quinn elected prom queen, he could find out how she really felt about him and if she would still want to be with him.

There was a line on the form marked "Nominee Name – Prom Queen", and in the blank space next to it, Finn carefully wrote _Rachel Berry_.

He capped his pen and put it and his book back in his bag. Finn then folded the nomination form in half and rose to leave the locker room.

Finn headed down the hall to the office. He went inside and slipped the nomination form into the Prom Committee mailbox. He smiled when he saw that there were very few forms in there so far, so there was plenty of time.

The smile remained on his face as he started on his way home. He had a secret campaign to start planning…

The End

* * *

All done! Make if it what you will :o) I look forward to reading the reviews, be they positive or constructively negative.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Grilled Cheesus, look at all those positive reviews! Thank you all so much for taking the time to both read and comment on my story! All of the kind words and encouragement really mean a lot to me.

Sorry it's taking so long to add any chapters to this story, but I like to keep as consistent with what's happening within the world of the show as possible, and I wanted to wait until after the newer episodes had started again. This is based on what has been happening on the show and what I've read in spoilers about the finale. I'm leaving this in "complete" status because I may stop writing at any time, and I'm hoping any chapters I write will be sufficient stopping points.

Alas, I own nothing, although I would gladly take Sam (trouty mouth and all!). Also, song lyrics are from Savage Garden's 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'.

And now, on with the show!

Truly

Finn sighed as he dropped his backpack on the floor of his room and plopped down on the bed. Why did things have to be so complicated…

Ok, so the plan to get Rachel on the prom ballot hadn't exactly worked out, but still. The upside was that Quinn had failed to get herself elected prom queen, which is what Finn had been hoping for. The downside? Because of Jesse, he hadn't gotten to see Quinn's reaction, so whether or not she was with him because she thought he could give her status remained a mystery (and Quinn certainly wasn't talking about the aftermath).

Coach Sylvester's words at the funeral came back to him. When he thought of being tethered to anyone, the only person he could picture at the end of that tether was Rachel. He hadn't been lying about that.

He stared off into space as he thought back to the moment when he walked into the auditorium earlier. His heart had clenched when he saw Jesse kissing Rachel. His immediate reaction was to go and try to make up with Quinn, but after stopping to think for a moment, he knew that would have been wrong. He had been right to break it off with her. What was the point of being in a relationship with someone if his heart wasn't in it? He feared whatever "big plans" she had for New York.

All he could see when he closed his eyes was Jesse kissing Rachel. His eyebrows scrunched together as he saw it playing out in his mind again. _Wait a minute_, he thought. _Jesse kissed Rachel, but she didn't really kiss him back, did she? She didn't push him away, but she didn't kiss him back either._

Finn needed advice, and he knew exactly who to talk to. Standing up, he made his way out of his room and down the hall.

Raising his hand, Finn paused for a moment, and then he knocked. "Entrez!" called a soft voice.

Finn opened the door slowly and peeked in before going all the way in. Kurt was sitting at his desk with a notebook and his rhyming dictionary. "Hey," he began. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Kurt looked up and, seeing the serious look on Finn's face, put the rhyming dictionary down. He swung around on his desk chair and gestured for Finn to take a seat on the bed.

Finn sat down, eyes darting around the room. His hands rubbed the legs of his jeans nervously. How should he begin?

"I broke up with Quinn!" he blurted out as his eyes met Kurt's.

"And?" Kurt prompted?

Finn took a deep breath. "I'm still in love with Rachel."

Kurt looked intrigued. "Go on."

"After everything that happened with her, " Finn said, "I thought I could get over it by going back to what I had before, you know? Being the big football star, dating Quinn…" He tried to gather his thoughts. "But everything I had with Quinn was just on the surface. There was nothing deeper."

"Well I could have told you that," Kurt replied. Finn looked at him in surprise. "You think you can live in a house with a person and not learn a thing or two about them? You were never as happy with Quinn as you were with Rachel. Anyway, you wouldn't be here talking to me if it was all as simple as 'I broke up with Quinn because I'm in love with Rachel', now would you?"

"No," Finn said. "I wouldn't."

"So what's going on?"

Finn looked down at his hands before looking back up at Kurt. "I wanted to tell Rachel how I felt. I mean, after that song she sang at the prom, I kinda thought she felt the same way. Anyway, I went to the auditorium, and I saw her hugging Jesse. Then he kissed her. She didn't kiss him back or anything, but she didn't exactly push him away either, and now I don't know what to do."

Kurt nodded as he began to understand, the corners of his mouth curling up in a smile. "So you came to me to get some insights into the female brain? And not just any brain, but the brain of Miss Rachel Berry?"

"Basically, yeah", Finn replied.

"Well," Kurt began, "let me start by shedding some light on a couple of things. First of all, that hug you saw?" Finn nodded for Kurt to continue. "I'm pretty sure she did that because Jesse told her she had won the solo spot for Nationals. Of course, that was before Mr. Schue decided on ensemble-only numbers." Finn opened his mouth to say something, but Kurt cut him off. "Second, as far as the kiss goes, you said it yourself – she didn't push him away, but she didn't kiss him back. The whole wide world, myself included, has been telling Rachel she needs to get over you and move on. It doesn't help that Quinn has been flaunting your relationship in Rachel's face. She didn't know you had broken up with Quinn."

Finn looked at Kurt curiously. "Do you think she's going to get back together with Jesse?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Finn, let me tell you something about Rachel. She loves you, and I don't think she'll ever get over you, no matter how hard she tries. If the cigarette industry could figure out what makes Rachel Berry addicted to Finn Hudson, it would reformulate its products and be a lot richer than it already is. And more people would be dying of lung cancer."

"She loves me? You know this for sure?" Finn asked, almost desperately.

"Absolutely," Kurt said. Finn felt some of the weight leaving his shoulders and smiled. "You really love her?" Kurt asked, and Finn nodded. "Don't ever tell her I said this, but Rachel is insanely talented. Out of everyone in the glee club, I think she's really the one that has the potential to go places. Do you love her enough that you'd be willing to leave Lima for her? I mean, if she got a part on Broadway, you'd go to New York?" A serious expression stole over Finn's face, and he nodded. Kurt's face broke out into a wide smile. "Wow…" He fanned his face with his hand.

"So," Finn said, trying to get the conversation back on track. "What do I do? It's not enough to just go to her and say 'I love you.'"

"Finn," Kurt began, "where are we going to be in one week?"

"New York?"

"Exactly!" Kurt said. "This is going to be both your and her first time in the big city, and it is the perfect time to romance her!"

"Romance her?" Finn questioned.

Kurt leaned in conspiratorially. "Between your and my knowledge of Rachel, we are going to plan a dream date for you to take her on. If it's not enough for you to tell her you love her, you have to show her."

Finn nodded thoughtfully. "Show her…"

_I'll be your dream_

_I'll be your wish _

_I'll be your fantasy_

_I'll be your hope _

_I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

The End (For Now)

As always, please review if you are so inclined.


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